The Pain Scale
Updated: May 24, 2019
I shared freehearted thoughts from my breakup but I'd also like to share a practical way of moving through a breakup.
I remember three specific times I've stayed overnight in a hospital, and each time my pain was monitored by a nurse. Can you guess what the three times were for? (Hint: I have three kids). While in care of the hospital my pain level was displayed clearly on a whiteboard and if I remember correctly I was asked about my pain around the clock. I distinctively recall being annoyed from being disturbed so often. This system is genius! When I make sense of it all, consistent monitoring is helpful in keeping track of your status leaving no room for a patient to decline in care. So why not apply this same method to a breakup?
My pain scale is easy, it rates pain on a scale from 1-10, 1 being low pain and 10 being high pain. Each day that follows your breakup I suggest writing down your pain level using one number. You should record this one number in your journal each day. If you do not journal daily, start now. If you don't have a journal, purchase one. The purpose of this daily log is to monitor your pain level and to witness you're healing. Pain always goes away in time. If you are noticing your number is staying the same or increasing this may indicate your need for an intervention, just like in a hospital setting would. This same monitoring should be implemented in emotional healing after a breakup. Intervention could mean looking into therapy, yoga, reading books or articles pertaining to emotional healing or more.
Some questions you can answer daily in your journal after recording your number is;
What are my thoughts in my head currently?
Why did my number change? Or, why did it stay the same?
Is my number a truthful reflection of my pain?
How often am I obsessing or replaying this relationship in my head?
This monitoring can also help to distract you by giving you something to focus on besides the ex. I sincerely hope this tactic helps someone out there.