• GJ

How to Date a Single Mom

I’m not sure how to start this topic without sounding standoffish, so I’m just going to get it out the way so the rest of this post could flow.

Men, once you know out you're dating a single mom the best thing to do is figure out for yourself if this is something you can handle. Don’t think about if you’ll hurt her feelings or if you’ll seem like a douche if you need to pause to ponder this or walk away, because chances are if you’re dealing with a mother she is strong enough to handle honesty.

I mean for God’s sake, she pushed a football size human out of her vagina!

Take inventory of your wants, needs, patience level, openness and lifestyle. In other words, you need to think about yourself. You need to be selfish and consider your life with kids before you even begin the dating process. This especially is important if you do not have a kids. If you have taken sometime to think this over and have made a decision, let her know right away, before the potential for greater harm is created.

So with that said, her are my tips for dating a single mother.

1. Try to get to know her kid

This is at the top of the list because the relationship you share with her offspring should be as easy and natural as the relationship with her. It should definitely NOT be forced. Ask the kid questions, learn their likes and dislikes, ask about what they like to watch and the music they enjoy. For younger kids that can’t speak, play a puzzle with them or color and spend time just learning their personality. Treat this as an interview process where you are feeling out this child as a potential companion, because you absolutely don’t want to hate your love interests kid. This will cause a huge dilemma for the mom where she will likely choose her kid over you. If you don’t like the kid and the kid doesn’t like you my advice is to move on. It’s not anything personal, if after some time you and the kid grow to hate each other more it will make for a toxic situation for everyone involved. As soon as you have the opportunity to meet her children, start right away to get as much information as possible about the child in order to find out if that relationship can flourish.

2. Arrange dates with the kids

While you are dating the single mom and making her feel special, consider planning dates that involve her kids. If you are on a budget, this has the potential to get expensive depending on how many kids she may have, so as a solution the dates could be as simple as a walk, picnic at the park or browsing the mall together. The last option has an added bonus because you could secretly take note of what the kids like and when the time comes you’ll know what to get if a birthday comes up or holiday. If you are unclear of how to plan a family type outing, ask your parents or ask the single mom, but you want to be creative some of the time to show interest.

3. Extend grace and patience

There are times when she will be unavailable or busy because of her duties as a mom. These are the times to say, “Please don’t worry, is there any way I can help?” or “That’s too bad you couldn’t make it to the date I planned, let's reschedule for Tuesday”. It’s difficult to pass up on date night or “cuddle” time when duty calls so remember that she is probably wanting that time with you way more than you think she does. Check in with her when she has to take her child to the doctor or has a long morning routine due to school and work. Give her that boost in encouraging words, flowers or a cute text with emoji to let her know that despite her having some busy times, your’e still there. Single mothers have much to juggle and often this discourages them from dating in the first place. It is wise that you don’t become one more person for her to juggle in her life.

Outside of these tips, everything else is about blending into the flow of things and the continued checking in on your part to make sure you’re still in for the ride. If at any point you are not feeling the kid vibe its important to be open and leave the situation alone. Do not, I repeat DO NOT just go along because you don’t want to be the bad guy. You ARE being a bad guy by stringing along her and her kids.

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