I cringe when I hear married people
talk about having their finances separate. I know I have friends
that likely do this and I love you, but
I see it as a potentially dangerous move. If you are going to make
a life with someone, trust them enough to fall asleep next to them
(how vulnerable is that!), possibly raise children with them, then
for goodness sake put your money together.
If, before you marry them you don't
trust them with money, then don't marry them. Not at least until you
do trust them with money. I am not saying this because there are
statistics (though there are) that say money is a huge factor in divorce. I am saying it because unwillingness to share you financial life shows that there is some sort of distrust, disrespect, and selfishness between you two.
If you trust your
spouse, put your money together. If there is distrust,
go get help! Then, once the situation is improving, put your money together.
Having to work together with your spouse on how money is spent and saved, which is really personal, requires communication, cooperation, goal planning, and respect. This will only serve to strengthen your marriage in the long run (though it may be tough to change at first!).
Having to work together with your spouse on how money is spent and saved, which is really personal, requires communication, cooperation, goal planning, and respect. This will only serve to strengthen your marriage in the long run (though it may be tough to change at first!).
My husband and I have our $ together but it seems like people who keep their money separate have issues deeper than what the money is. Trust, communication, etc. It's too easy to hide things from your spouse when money is separate. I just don't see the benefit. What's the point of keeping things separate? This is weird to me.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you agree. I just noticed a posting on facebook the other day Dave Ramsey made about this and people commented every which way. I was surprised at how many people keep it completely seperate and were trying to claim that it was beneficial and even helped rescue their marriage. Maybe in short term because they don't have to work together but eventually if one of them stumbles or struggles with jealousy or greed they will be in big trouble.
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